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    November 04

    Apologia

    IS it thy will that I should wax and wane,
    Barter my cloth of gold for hodden grey,
    And at thy pleasure weave that web of pain
    Whose brightest threads are each a wasted day?

    Is it thy will That my Soul's House should be a tortured spot
    Wherein, like evil paramours, must dwell
    The quenchless flame, the worm that dieth not?

    Nay, if it be thy will I shall endure,
    And sell ambition at the common mart,
    And let dull failure be my vestiture,
    And sorrow dig its grave within my heart.

    Perchance it may be better so I have not made my heart a heart of stone,
    Nor starved my boyhood of its goodly feast,
    Nor walked where Beauty is a thing unknown.

    Many a man hath done so; sought to fence
    In straitened bonds the soul that should be free,
    Trodden the dusty road of common sense,
    While all the forest sang of liberty,

    Not marking how the spotted hawk in flight
    Passed on wide pinion through the lofty air,
    To where the steep untrodden mountain height
    Caught the last tresses of the Sun God¹s hair.

    Or how the little flower he trod upon,
    The daisy, that white-feathered shield of gold,
    Followed with wistful eyes the wandering sun
    Content if once its leaves were aureoled.

    But surely it is something to have been
    The best belovèd for a little while,
    To have walked hand in hand with Love, and seen
    His purple wings flit once across thy smile.

    Ay! though the gorgèd asp of passion feed
    On my boy's heart, yet have I burst the bars,
    Stood face to face with Beauty, known indeed
    The Love which moves the Sun and all the stars!
                                                                                                O.Wilde
    November 01

    I'll be waiting

    He broke your heart
    He took your soul
    You're hurt inside
    Because there's a hole
    You need some time
    To be alone
    Then you will find
    What you always know

    I'm the one who really loves you baby
    I've been knocking at your door

    As long as I'm living, I'll be waiting
    As long as I'm breathing, I'll be there
    Whenever you call me, I'll be waiting
    Whenever you need me, I'll be there

    I've seen you cry
    Into the night
    I feel your pain
    Can I make it right
    I realized there's no end inside

    Yet still I'll wait
    For you to see the light

    I'm the one who really loves you baby
    I can't take it anymore

    As long as I'm living, I'll be waiting
    As long as I'm breathing, I'll be there
    Whenever you call me, I'll be waiting
    Whenever you need me, I'll be there

    You are my only I've ever known
    That makes me feel this way
    Couldn't on my own
    I want to be with you until we're old

    You have the love you need right in front of you
    Please come home

    As long as I'm living, I'll be waiting
    As long as I'm breathing, I'll be there
    Whenever you call me, I'll be waiting
    Whenever you need me, I'll be there